We’re all familiar with the terms independent and dependent, whether from algebra or describing ourselves or others. But how often do we consider the power of interdependence? Recently, I finished reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, and one of the most insightful concepts he discusses is what it means to be dependent, independent, or interdependent. He says:
Dependence is the paradigm of you: You take care of me; you come through for me; you didn’t come through; I blame you for the results. Dependent people need others to get what they want.
Independence is the paradigm of I: I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose. Independent people can get what they want through their own efforts.
Interdependence is the paradigm of we: We can do it; we can cooperate; we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their most tremendous success.
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The Journey from Independence to Interdependence
I’ve always prided myself on being independent, responsible, and self-reliant. I don’t expect others to take care of me, nor do I blame others for what happens in my life. I accomplish tasks on my own and achieve my goals through my efforts. If you ask anybody, they will tell you that independence is much more mature and a greater achievement than dependence.
However, while independence is admirable, it’s not the ultimate goal. Our society often promotes independence, individualism, and competition. Yet, what we should truly strive for is interdependence—doing things together, cooperating, and combining our talents and abilities.
The Power of Interdependence
An interdependent person understands that while they are self-reliant and capable, they can achieve far more by working with others than they could alone, even at their best. They realize the need for other people’s thinking to join with their own. Interdependent people are confident and have a strong sense of self-worth, but they also recognize the need for love, belonging, and forgiveness from others. They understand the importance of sharing deeply and meaningfully with others and accessing the vast resources and potential of other human beings.
This idea of interdependence reminds me of Bob Marley’s song “One Love.” Marley’s call for unity and collective effort echoes the essence of interdependence. Just as the song encourages us to come together and support each other, interdependence teaches us that by cooperating and combining our strengths, we can achieve far greater success and create something truly remarkable.
So, what am I going to do to become more interdependent? Here are my steps:
Steps to Becoming More Interdependent
1. Build Strong, Trust-Based Relationships:
- Invest time in building strong, trust-based relationships with others. Be honest, reliable, and open in my interactions.
2. Practice Active Listening and Empathy:
- Show genuine interest in others’ perspectives and demonstrate empathy. Practice active listening to ensure everyone feels heard and understood.
3. Collaborate and Leverage Strengths:
- Identify the strengths and skills of those around me and find ways to collaborate effectively. Encourage teamwork by maximizing individual strengths and creating a sense of shared purpose.
4. Communicate Effectively:
- Develop transparent and open communication channels. Share my thoughts, ideas, and feelings openly and encourage others to do the same.
5. Seek and Provide Feedback:
- Regularly seek constructive feedback from others to improve my performance and interpersonal skills. Be open to receiving criticism and use it as an opportunity for growth. Similarly, provide feedback to others in a positive, supportive manner.
How would you describe yourself? Are you dependent, independent, or interdependent? How do you know? Let me know in the comments!
With love and interdependence,
Tamera
Tamera Malone 
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